After Skyfall- A Bad Day
by Oldmoviebuff
Summary: A look at one of Tiago's "bad days." Can be read on its own, but reading my other two previous Skyfall entries should help paint a fuller picture. No smut (sorry, read the other two if you want it) but still rated M for smatterings and suggestions of...other things... The boys are not mine, but that doesn't keep me from wishing they were
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.- I'm sooo sorry this took so long, but I promise there are reasons. 1. this was the day i was the most eager to show you guys, and because of that, this of course was the hardest to write. I'm still not satisfied with it, but I don't want to keep meddling with it in case I end up making it worse. 2. I work as an RA at my school and just finished training, res hall opening, and getting settled into my own classes. This has actually been done for awhile, but i have been re-reading and editing so I'm sorry if any sneaked through. Please let me know what you guys think. If I get the chance, and I get a minute to think it out, I would like to do a day from Tiago's point of view.**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy **

James reached over and shut off the old fashioned alarm clock on his side of the bed. He groaned, normally Tiago would have woken him up by now.

If the alarm was allowed to go off, it was usually a tell tale sign that this was going to be one of the harder days. James sat up in bed and stretched. Tiago was already up, most likely in the bathroom. He fought the urge to go in. He knew that he was in there, staring at himself in the mirror without his prosthetic jaw. It was one of Silva's old routines and James knew better than to disturb it. He tried a few months ago with dreadful results. Tiago didn't like James to see him "incomplete" on his good days, let alone on the bad ones. So, as much as he didn't like leaving Tiago to stew, leaving him be was better for everyone involved. James, instead, went out onto the balcony and began his pre-jog stretches. He then retrieved the little calendar from his end table and marked an 'X' on the day, he could already tell it was going to be a bad one. It was a shame too; it had been almost a full week since his last one. Once he had gotten dressed and ready, he gave a small tap at the door.

"I'm going down to the beach, meet you there." He wasn't sure whether Tiago registered the information or not, but it was something harmless enough to rouse him if needed. He didn't dare try to open the door.

Halfway through his morning jog, James turned and noticed Tiago some distance behind him. Good. This was exactly why he instilled these routines; it provided a good base for days such as these. Tiago wasn't trying to catch up to him or anything, but he was running and out of the bathroom. On his worst days, he was known to stare at his damaged reflection for hours.

James fried up some eggs for breakfast while he waited for Tiago to make his way back into the house. He knew better than to wait on him so he went ahead and began to eat while he checked the news on his laptop. James' plate was already empty and cleaned before Tiago aimlessly walked into the kitchen. James shoveled the remainder of the eggs from the frying pan onto Tiago's plate in front of him. Tiago said nothing, but turned his head up to look at James as though he only now realized that he wasn't alone on the island. James gave him the same blank stare back before he dumped the frying pan in the sink and began to wash it.

"If the eggs aren't warm enough, I can heat them up." Tiago only looked at his plate and its contents.

James returned to his laptop and continued to browse through the world's current events. He eventually heard silverware hitting the plate, but he didn't bother to look up. Tiago was eating, the less of a nanny James seemed, the smoother the day go. It was a fine line James had to walk on these bad days. He had to keep enough of an eye on the Spaniard to make sure that he didn't retreat too far into himself, but he had to keep enough distance so as not to pressure and upset him.

Once Tiago was well into his slow, measured bites, James began to update him on what was going on outside of their little island hideaway. He would even pose questions, not that he expected an answer. It wasn't that the man was completely catatonic; but he did spend the day in his head. James still talked to him nonetheless, on the off chance he would respond, and to keep him at least somewhat grounded in reality.

At some length, Tiago silently got up from his seat and walked into the library where his computers and workstation was. James took his plate to the sink and spent a little extra time washing it to give Tiago enough space so he wouldn't think that he was being followed. When James did go into the Library, he found Tiago sitting at his station, typing. He sat down in his usual chair and pulled out a book to read from the shelf, another notch in their usual routine. This also kept Tiago from getting paranoid as he was prone to do on his bad days. James spent twenty minutes in the room with him, making sure he heard constant typing, before he put down his book and informed him that he was going for a walk and would be back for lunch. Tiago, again, said nothing but James was expecting that.

James began a slow walk along the cloudy beach as he began to mentally map out their next possible mission after his findings that morning. His thoughts didn't stay there long however, as he soon found them wandering back to Tiago at his laptop. He knew that he was in there working and that was good. His bad days would be tantamount to extreme introversion. As long as he was kept on a schedule, the best James could hope for was a quiet day. Tiago would move through his daily routine because his brain remembered it as habit. As for what went on in Tiago's head, James hadn't the first clue. His theory was that his low days were occupied by Silva. Not an alternate personality per se, more like the mindset. Raoul Silva was almost single minded in his goals and when James first "kidnapped" him from his old life, he had lost his goals. His brain was running but not much else was going on because there simply was nothing to go on.

He basically ran the day on autopilot. Basically. Of course, it wasn't _that_ simple. If it were, James wouldn't have to be so careful. His hypothesis that Silva was in there at the moment also applied to his temperament, the slightest thing could set him off, which was bad enough in a normal person, let alone a former double 0. Not that Silva flew off the handle on a regular basis, but he was infamous for his quick and deadly reactions to things that stood in his path.

But, outside of his amped-up paranoia, James couldn't imagine what else went on in his lover's brain. There was no reading him. He would spend most of the day in an almost Zombie-like state, then, out of nowhere, he would laugh, or cry, or punch a hole in the nearest wall. After the outburst, he would slip right back into his silence.

These sudden and unpredictable eruptions were the main reason why James still talked to Tiago even though he knew he wouldn't answer. James was sure his mind was blank for the most part, but something inside him caused the outbursts and James had no idea what it was. He did find out that they were less frequent the more he drew Tiago out of himself and away from Silva, or whatever "it" was. It was like leaving a pot of water on the stove, without care, it could boil over. Luckily, James was far better at cooking people than food.

When James had completed his stroll through the trail in the tropical trees behind the house, he went back into the kitchen to start on lunch. He found Tiago already at his normal place, staring blankly at his empty placemat.

"Done with work early, I see." He got Tiago a glass of water in lieu of their usual glass of wine. "Got any 'Good Will' missions for us?" Silence.

James got the cold cuts and other sandwich supplies out of the fridge and placed them between Tiago and himself. Tiago, of course, didn't respond but did sluggishly grab some meat and cheese and put it on top of a slice of bread. James watched him closely as he began to slowly eat and drink, though he was wise to not linger there long. When James finished his own sandwich, he wordlessly got up and headed out the kitchen doors towards the firing range in the center of the island. He didn't look, but he could tell that his partner had followed him.


	2. Chapter 2

The shooting range practice started ordinarily enough, James and Tiago, wordlessly retrieved their choice of firearms from the lockers. James then proceeded to set up the target range while Tiago prepared the guns. James turned on the system and they began to shoot. They both shot through several rounds and paper targets before James noticed a particular pattern in Tiago's shooting. Each target bore the same shots on the silhouette.

He didn't want to call attention to it, but James became rather concerned. He knew Tiago's anatomy well enough at this point to identify the most major remnants of his torture, and they were matching up perfectly with the targets. James kept shooting at his normal pace, even though Tiago could not see James from the barriers, James did not want to give off any hint that he had noticed. James could only hope that Tiago would shoot through it and that would be that. A lot of good hope did, in this case anyhow, James could hope all he wanted but he knew damn well what was most likely going to happen. And happen it did.

Not five minutes went by before James noticed something move in his periphery. He couldn't hear what was going on with his silencer headphones, but he could definitely see Tiago walking down the active range continuously firing off his gun at the target. James immediately dropped his gun out of risk of hitting the crazed blond and ran out into the range to stop him. He knew it was a reckless, but that never stopped him before. He knew how to subdue an armed gunman, and Tiago was liable to do himself an injury in this state.

He managed to get up behind the gun-wielding Spaniard and get his arms around him. Tiago, however, on the instant of contact, went into a further panic mode and managed to slip right out of James' grip. He swung himself around, unwittingly pulling the trigger in the process. James, fortunately, was as quick as his partner and was on the other again. He tackled Tiago to the ground and forced the gun out of his hand before any other accidental shots were released. Tiago's eyes were blank in blind rage as he struggled against James' weight. James' hands held him tight, waiting for the fit to pass. Tiago, still fighting, wiggled a hand out of James' vise-like grip on his arms and frantically grabbed at James' arm, causing the other to wince. Tiago instantly stilled.

He pulled his hand away from James' arm and stared at it. James, surprised at the sudden end to Tiago's rampage, looked at Tiago's hand as well. It was covered in blood. Confused, James turned to his arm and noticed that it was bleeding, not heavily, but noticeably. The shot that Tiago let loose in his confusion had grazed James' left arm, and with his adrenaline winding down, he was only just now aware of the wound. It was a fairly deep gouge, but James had encountered worse in the field and knew how to deal with it. Tiago, on the other hand, wasn't dealing with it as well. The look of fear was plastered on his face as he stared at his hand. James couldn't be sure if it was the sight of the blood on his hand or that he had been the one that caused it that was upsetting Tiago so much, but he didn't dare say a word. Instead, he pulled himself off of Tiago and left the man alone in the room to work out his thoughts, after retrieving both guns and securing them away of course. He was not about to take another chance on his safety or his companion's. James had to exercise every last bit of his self-control to not do anything else, especially since the last thing he heard before exiting the range was the most heart-wrenching howl of a sob he had ever experienced. He all but marched back to the house to get a good look at his injury and take the necessary steps to make sure there was no evidence of it when Tiago emerged later.

The wound was as deep as James suspected, but it was nothing serious. In fact, he was rather glad at its particular placement on his arm. It was just low enough to not be hard to reach while he stitched it up. After taking a low-grade field dose of morphine, James set to work closing the wound and disposing of the bloodied shirt. When he was back to looking normal, and the bathroom was cleaned of any blood and first-aid supplies, James ambled downstairs to the kitchen and began preparing dinner. He did not know if Tiago would reappear for the meal or not, but he wanted things to be ready none-the-less. Fits like the one Tiago had earlier were common, if not punctual on his bad days. James didn't want to push it though; anything could set him off again.

At six-thirty, just as James was setting his place at the table, Tiago silently walked in and sat at his usual seat. James let out an internal sigh of relief as he set dinner in front of the Spaniard and returned to his place to eat. All while the pre-prepared meals had been heating in the oven (made by Tiago as James' culinary skills were not up to Tiago's standards) James had fought the urge to go and check on him. He did not like leaving him alone in the range in that condition. What if he had managed to get the gun locker open? What if he had found some other means of doing harm to himself or James? They were common questions and concerns that James had to stomach on days like these. If he were to have looked in on Tiago, he might have spurred another "freakout", or at the very least, upset the man to the point of crying again just as he was calming himself down.

But James could rest easy for the moment. Tiago had returned to the house, looking tousled, but unharmed. He was now innocuously picking at his dinner and staring holes into the plate. James noticed that Tiago had managed to wipe the blood off of his hand, but there was a telling smear across the center of his shirt.


	3. Chapter 3

After dinner and dishes, James thought it would be a good idea to spend the night on the yacht. Of course, the Chimera had been disposed of, but this one was almost exactly the same, maybe a few feet smaller. Tiago had named it Janus, as a joke, though James didn't think it was very funny, especially on days like this one.

He got Tiago to go down to the bedroom and wait while he drove the yacht away from the island. Since he had his little tantrum earlier, he had gone back into his more sullen/catatonic state and was a bit easier to direct. James drove the Janus about twenty miles out from the island and anchored in the open sea. He wanted to make sure the island was well out of sight and that no night boaters would be going by. He was going to make sure nothing disturbed them tonight.

James turned off the engine and made his way down the stairs to the inner part of the yacht where the master bedroom was. He was sort of shocked to find that Tiago wasn't sitting on the bed where James had left him, but then he heard the distinctive sound of the shower running. Tiago was sitting with his head in his hands on the shower stool that they kept in the bathroom, the bloodstained clothes strewn on the floor.

"I refuse to believe that's comfortable." James stood outside of the glass with his arms crossed. He got a small huff in response. He smiled to himself; he took pride in any response he could get out of him when he was like this. "Could you make a little room?"

Tiago got up and pushed the stool against the back of the shower. James stripped and met a bit of a shock when he stepped through the glass door. Tiago had been sitting under the water at full blast, cold. Freezing cold.

"I honestly don't know why you do this to yourself." James said gruffly as he tried to regain the breath that had been knocked out of him.

Tiago still kept his eyes glued firmly to his feet. James brought Tiago to him and tried his best to warm him up as he turned the dial on the water. He quickly rubbed his hands up and down Tiago's back trying to bring some warmth back to his skin while they waited for the water to heat up. Tiago just let his forehead rest against James' shoulder. After a few moments, once the water heated up, Tiago brought his arms around James and returned the embrace.

A few more moments passed before James let go of his lover long enough to grab the shampoo bottle and proceeded to work some into Tiago's hair. Tiago met James' gaze and held it all throughout. Now, James couldn't guess at what Tiago was thinking on these days, but whenever he deigned to look at James, he was certain it was in some bitter anger. Anger at his fractured mind, anger at his past actions, and anger at James for letting him live long enough to regret it. James had the good sense to know that his life was in danger on days such as these, especially after Tiago's little outbreak earlier, but still he stayed. Yes, the bad days were risks, but he was used to them, and it was worth waiting out. On his bad days, Tiago lost his sense of the better days, but James kept track and he _was_ improving. Tiago just had to work through them, and James was more than willing to help. In a way, he felt as though his helping Tiago was helping himself. Like his own redemption for the things he had done, things M had done.

Redemption, that was the word he liked to use whenever he thought seriously about his current lifestyle as a Ghost, off the grid and without a country to call his own. It was certainly easier to wrap his head around than the alternative. It was a stray, sneaky thought that crept into his head every once in a while. Some other reason as to why he stayed with Tiago through thick and thin, other than redeeming his conscience. But it wasn't a thought that James liked to dwell on, he wasn't stupid, he just knew it was far easier to deny than to admit. Once burned, twice shy and all that.

After James finished cleaning the soapy lather out of Tiago's hair, he lingered for a minute with his hands buried in Tiago's wet locks, continuing to keep his stare. Tiago eventually broke it to leave the shower, James followed in suit though he stayed in the bathroom to dry off. Once James was finished, he found Tiago in the bedroom and handed him a towel. When the offer was met with a cold stare and limp hand, James took it upon himself to dry off the other blond.

"I'm not an infant you know." The silence finally broken by his low voice.

"Well, you're making a puddle." He crossed his arms. Since Tiago had started talking, or responding to his environment, James was pretty sure they were out of the red zone.

Tiago shot him a perturbed look, jaw locked firmly in place.

"Then dry your own damn self off." He said in mutual annoyance as he tossed the white square of fabric at his lover. He smiled inwardly when the man actually bothered to catch it. "I'm going to get ready for bed." James returned to the bathroom to brush his teeth and do his pre-sleep facial scrubbing.

He didn't deign to give Tiago a response when the, now damp, towel was thrown at the back of his head, mid scrub. 'Definitely in the clear.' He grabbed the towel from the floor and patted his face dry. He looked across the room to the mass underneath the down blankets, back set firmly towards the bathroom. Knowing no one could see, James let a small smirk grace his brow as he turned off the various lamps in the room. He left the one on his bedside for last, as he approached the bed in his towel and made eye contact with Tiago, who was facing James' side.

His face returned to that of a neutral look as he relieved himself of the cloth, climbed into bed next to his lover, and turned out the last light. This was his last task official task on the Bad Days. Sure, them sleeping in the nude wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but on these days, James made sure it happened. It was one of those equalizers, something that, no matter how Tiago was behaving by the end of the night, James took as much pressure off him as possible. Both of them being nude showed that they were equally vulnerable, and equally trusting of one another. It was not something that was ever said out loud, but mutually understood.

This, of course, fueled James' other night rule; Sex was out of the question on bad days. Tiago was just not mentally fit for it. Not that it came up very often on those days, but on one of the few times it did, James decided to indulge him with catastrophic results. Sex, for anyone else probably was more about the intimacy, where as their relations were first and foremost about dominance. Yes there was pleasure and intimacy, but they were creatures of a different cut, and it always came down to who ended up on top, literally. Not that James minded it, he relished the constant struggle, it was just another one of their games. But, on the bad days, dominance was not something James was comfortable dealing with. The one time he consented to having sex with his lover on a "bad day" taught him that.

There was no feeling in it, and Tiago insisted that James "take charge" over him. The act had turned from a friendly spar, to a punishment because Tiago felt that he deserved it. What really disturbed him was some of the things Tiago wanted him to do. They reeked of tortures that a certain government was known throughout the world of espionage for. The whole reason James gave in to Tiago in the first place was that he hoped it would help him, not aid his grief.

James was in the bed, lying on his back for a few minutes before he felt the bed move as Tiago inched closer. He winced as Tiago drew his thumb as softly over the hours old bullet wound on his arm. His wince was met with a kiss on the tender spot, as soft as the touch.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not my first." James said flatly, he did not want to add to Tiago's guilt.

"But my fault none the less." Tiago propped himself up on his elbow to get a more clear look at James.

"Couldn't be helped." James turned his head to face the other blond. His face was bathed in a bluish-white light from the panoramic windows at the far end of the room.

In the dim, reflected light of the moonlit ocean, James could barely make out the expression on Tiago's face as he looked down at him. He wrapped an arm around Tiago's upper back and brought him down to his chest. Tiago complied and moved the rest of his lower body to get as close to James as he could. James didn't like to admit it, but this was something he actually enjoyed from the bad days. Tiago was always the "remorseful child" whenever he came out of his moods and James did not mind holding him when he allowed it. Some nights, of course, Tiago just wanted to go right to sleep and forget about the day, his bad days never being a topic of discussion on his good days or any other day. Tiago never brought it up so neither did James. In fact, he wasn't even positive Tiago remembered his bad days, not fully at least. Those nights aside, Tiago didn't mind being held. Those particular nights were special; James actually got to _do_ something. He wouldn't dare touch Tiago in an intimate way while he was in a state, only when he knew that he was coming out of it. Because of that, James could not do much of anything to directly help Tiago, just go about his daily routine and pray that Tiago was lucid enough to do the same. But on these nights, when Tiago allowed the contact, James felt almost elated at the opportunity to offer a hand. Here he was offering comfort instead of wary indifference.

That little niggle of a feeling wormed its way into the back of James' head again. That feeling that made James question the true motives for his companionship with Tiago. Normally, James would have argued with his inner self and come up with a bunch of excuses for his continued allegiance, but tonight he was too tired. Tonight he didn't feel up to justifying his actions to the growing feeling in his gut. Tonight James allowed it to be a feeling that had been too painful to accept before. Tonight he simply didn't want to fight it.

He felt Tiago's breathing steady and knew he was asleep. James waited a few minutes before leaning his mouth close to Tiago's ear and whispered a small something. If Tiago was awake, he didn't acknowledge it, though James was almost certain he felt Tiago still for the briefest moment. It didn't matter either way, James had said it, and not matter if Tiago had heard it or not, it would not be something they would discuss the next day, or ever.

Unforeseen circumstances might change that in the future, possibly on a day that didn't start off with uncertainty, where days like these were a thing of the past. James was sure a day like that would come, but how far off it was, he couldn't say. As for this moment, James closed his eyes and allowed the gentle roll of the ocean send him off to sleep while he held his broken Spaniard.


End file.
